Thursday, 26 February 2015
If you have never experienced those things that creep up on you in your state of vulnerability, then I don’t think you know true fear. I don’t know why they trigger that automatic reaction from us but a strong and literally paralysing fear rushes through us, inhabiting every fibre in our bodies.
My first encounter was very different and nothing to what you would expect. It was a sunny and warm day, less than a week before my eighteenth birthday. I was taking a nap.
I am not sure why I woke; maybe I sensed it but I remember opening my eyes and glancing at my curtain (exactly how it was when I had first fallen asleep), before I started to drift again. That was when I heard the sound of my bedroom door opening, followed by the playful sound of a small girl’s giggle. Before I could question the oddness of it as only my nanna was home, it touched my neck and proceeded to scurry back off, leaving only the sound of its feet tapping on the wooden floor boards in my memory.
I was terrified. I wanted so desperately to get out of bed and my room for that matter but the deepest of all deep sleeps washed over me and by the time I woke, I was left questioning whether it had just been a dream.
The second time was not quite so pleasant. My boyfriend had been over and as per usual we had fallen asleep. We woke sometime in the hour of 4 in the morning and so he grabbed his things and left. When I returned to my room I felt uneasy, scared and could not shake the belief that something else was there with me; the thought so strong that even in my dream that followed I refused to go into my ‘room’ with the belief that something was waiting for me.
In the midst of my slumber my boyfriend started talking to me and trying to wake me, which was odd as he had gone home. I opened my eyes to find not my boyfriend for that matter, but a dark and large silhouette of something that could closely be described a gargoyle, sitting only centimetres away from me on my bed, where my boyfriend had only been sleeping an hour before.
The sun had already started to rise so the image of it in front of the blue haze outside of the window was as clear as any other object in my room.
Just when I had thought it had all stopped and those strange dreams/encounters were gone, several months later and only several days ago, it happened again.
This time when I can feel the paralysation of my body and I suddenly develop a sixth sense and know there is something else in my room, I don’t dare open my eyes, in fear of what I might say. I lie there, eyes shut, pretending to be asleep in the hopes that these night terrors may disappear, but as if it could the sound of my heart pumping and my silent prayers, in climbs onto my bed by my feet. If I didn’t have that magical sixth sense that I seem to have in these ‘dreams’, I would have mistaken it for my dog innocently trying to cuddle my legs as it so commonly did. I can feel it climb over me, it’s weight on my legs, as it moves over my body. Not daring to see what had visited me, I suddenly feel its hands wrapped around my wrists and is holds me down.
It’s touch was as real as the blanket on my skin and try to move my legs even the slightest but my body does not respond. After what seemed like an eternity and its grip only getting tighter, I beg my body to move and although my cries and yells for help are silent, I manage a quiet whisper “go away”.
I dig my nails into its arm; its skin feeling scaly and dry like shedded snake skin. I stumble out of bed, taking it my surprise and although my body is weak, I use my skin to grip and slide the door handle open, running to my parents room.
I stand by their bed, their bodies sleeping peacefully unknown of the dark encounter only happening on the other side of the wall. I yell for them to help but not even a whisper is manager.
And then I woke.
Wednesday, 4 February 2015
I am well over due for a post with just about two months passing of having not. I even avoided doing my ‘farewell 2014… I’d like to thank…. grew as a person so much…” and all that to end the year but it is now February and well I just cannot be bothered.
HOWEVER, last year I began the year naïve with little perception of just what to expect from leaving school and joining the real world, especially as I was neck deep in the world I created myself. I started this year with a full time job; starting my career, money in my account, realistic ambitions and not a single bad thought to keep me up at night.
My only problem is that I now stand among things that are just that; things, and around me is nothing more than just coincidences. Does the sun have any effect on us as a person? Nah. Do things happen for a reason? Probably not. Are we just mere bacteria trying to find meaning of our lives? Most likely.