Thursday, 31 March 2016


A day out on the boat was great. We went to Blackwater reach where we watched for a good hour people chickening out on jumping off it. Although I can't really talk because I decided to float around on a donut and feed swans rather than jump from the cliff like I told everyone I would.

San Cisco came to Fremantle and played at J-Shed and it was amazing. The above picture is my friend and I getting pretty pumped to see one of our favorite bands. 
"I'd treat you better than Isabella baby" - me

My boyfriend and I went to Dunsborough for a couple nights on the weekend. Here I am standing in front of Sugar Loaf rock, before we climbed its sister. Dunsborough, and this place in particular, is officially my favorite place in the world.

I thought enhancements, of going to places that made me forget the world and the life I lived, were the key to my happiness.
But I realize now its the people I surround myself with and the places I go that touch my in a way drugs never can - that make me appreciate the world I live in and not the one I try to escape to. 

Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Fear of Losing Someone

In a relationship, particularly in the beginning, you usually feel fear of losing the other. Perhaps this is why we try so hard to impress them. Why we are so affectionate towards them. Why we go out of our way to keep them around.
Then at some point, the fear dissolves away. We realise they're going to stay. We reveal ourselves more to them and they start to see not only our good sides but our bad ones too.

Many people would argue that the fear of losing your partner should always be felt in relationships; that one should always feel that they don't completely have that person and therefore continuously try hard.
I beg to differ.

I argue that that perception of relationships is immature and that when the fear of losing the other person goes away, that is when the relationship starts.
I don't think you should be constantly worrying that you may lose your partner. It's hard to focus on your own issues and your own life with that constant mindset.
If there is no fear in losing the other person, when you  know you have them, that is a sweet feeling. Yes, you and your partner may try less to impress each other but I don't see why that should matter. Are you constantly trying to impress your friends? Or your family?
Doesn't it feel great to know that you can always count on them? That you can follow your dreams with full support and have someone to fall back on when it doesn't work out? Or would you rather be scared of chasing your dreams in fear that you may lose your partner in the process?

It's an amazing feeling to make plans for the future with someone that you know will stick around. To put your plans into motion and know things will still be okay if they don't go to plan. To know someone so very well, their good and bad traits, to be sure that you aren't just making false promises.

The idea that one should constantly be in fear of losing their partner has been expressed to me by a large number of people. Yes, you should fear losing your partner but you should not be constantly in it. It shouldn't be a common thought; that you may possibly walking on thin ice and any second that ice could crack and break beneath your feet faster than you can comprehend.

I'd rather a relationship built on a solid foundation. Where there is no fear to be ourselves. Where we can merge our hopes and dreams of the future together to great a likely future that won't disappear in the blink of an eye.

Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Surprise Party

It was my best friend's 20th birthday a week ago. In order to celebrate, I spent two months planning her a surprise party, although most of it was spent feeling depressed knowing it wouldn't be long until it would be my own turn to leave my teenage years.

It was one of the most stressful things I have ever done. Not because it was extremely hard, but because I wanted nothing more than for it to be really great, particularly for her.
I'd love to say I only threw this for her because I loved her, but mostly my original intentions had been in spite. My best friend got a boyfriend several months ago. It is her first relationship since year nine, which doesn't even properly count as a relationship. As a result, her attention towards me dimmed down extremely, even to the point where she had forgotten about our plans when I rocked up to the destination only to find she had completely forgot and made plans with her boyfriend, resulting in me having to head back home.

This was okay. I have almost always been in a relationship and to say I have always given her the attention she deserved, that I never chose my boyfriend's over her would be a complete and utter lie. But my further attempts at hanging out were often rejected for other ones.

So, I knew I had two choices. I could get angry at her, have a bit of a sad and make her feel guilty for rejecting me, or, I could throw her a surprise party for her birthday to remind her how much I loved her. I chose the second option.

Luckily while in the last month of party plans, organising food and decorations and a good excuse for her to be out of the house, she returned back to me and it turned out to be a huge misunderstanding. It made me want the party to go really well all the more. And it did, even for her and the whole 2 hours she was there and wasn't passed out in her room as a result of me handing her shots.

I wish I got photos of the party but we were all too busy drinking and having a good time. I did however get some photos of the d├ęcor and drinks called Great Gatsby cocktails that I made for the occasion although wouldn't recommend as they don't taste all that nice at all but can get you pretty drunk at a low expense.

As it was my best friend's birthday, and although she won't ever read this as I never give out this URL to people I know, I will take the opportunity to give her a bit of a shout out.

So, Happy 20th Birthday Caitlan. I feel bad for getting jealous when you got a boyfriend, but that's life and I know I will always be around. You have had a pretty tough year so I only hope that this one is much better and so many positive things come your way.
You are one of my heroes, with your job that helps people, your selfless attitude and for putting up with my drunken mess ways. You da best.