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Thursday, 23 March 2017

We lied alot

An except from a story I am still in the process of writing, and quite honesty, starting:

We lied a lot. Nothing big. Nothing exactly major. 
Mostly on things we didn’t even have to lie about. 

They were less than white lies. They were more of exaggerations, mostly of why; of why we acted a certain away or why we did what we did. They were half true. Half not. 

They were the missing pieces in the explanations that we tried to give, in the hopes that we would understand each other for things we didn’t quite understand ourselves.

Monday, 20 March 2017

What Recipe Are You?

Quite often, and by 'often' I mean at least three times a day, I get into a mood where I severely dislike something about myself.
More than often it's regarding a body part that I was so unfortunately born with and would cost me a small fortune to have it changed, and the more I stare at it, the more I hate it and wonder how I could ever be attractive. This most frequently occurs after seeing a photo of someone else with the same body part, however a better one because they were blessed with better genes or something. 

Sometimes it may even be a characteristic within my personality and believe me when I say I try to change that about myself but unfortunately personalities are not surgically editable. 

After approximately five minutes have passed, my brain leads me to a quote I either read or heard on some television show and it never ceases to make me feel better. So I would like to share this with you folk so that on your most insecure days your brain will lead you to recall it as well and you will feel better until your next ridiculous and unforeseeable breakdown. 

I honestly can't remember how exactly it goes and I don't take credit for this but it something along the lines of cake ingredients. Flour, sugar, eggs, milk, maybe some cocoa powder, vanilla essence. Individually these ingredients are pretty boring and plain and to eat on their own wouldn't be all that desirable. But together they make one fine ass cake. 
It isn't exactly poetic but it is definitely true. 
You can't focus on yourself as individual body parts when they come together to make something pretty awesome. 

So there you go. 

Friday, 17 March 2017

You will never be a mans number one priority and thats okay?

The above was a caption that I stumbled on and beneath was what I thought was a beautiful abstract image of two souls of the opposite sex coming together in union. But what I read in the very large caption below haunted me for days.

After two days of searching and stalking months and months through my friend's Facebook profile I found it the picture. I bloody found it.

It's a segment from a book that was written by David Deida. This writer meant well; trying to encourage men to find their passion and purpose in the world. And it was relatable. And he geos on to speak more about women and for me, he was dead on. My relationships are my number one priority in my life.




I am not going to lie about the fact that I did feel sad. I confronted my boyfriend when I got home to find out if it was true, and therefore, true about me being basically just an amusing noise in the background of his priorities. He laughed and shrugged it off, so I rolled over and went to sleep, trying to forget what I had read in the first place.

I spoke to a friend from work about it and it sparked up an interesting discussion but we both ended up where the article had left us.
And maybe I am so vain and selfish that I want to be someone's whole world, or first priority.

But it was after a week perhaps that I realized how wrong this guy was. Or at least, how wrong his conclusion was. He states that a man is happiest when he is at work and things are going well. It's his escape from his family drama's and troubles. When work is going bad, he is stressed. And despite that his partner my try to cheer him and to an extent succeed, he is not really happy.

OF COURSE MEN ARE HAPPIEST WHEN WORK IS GOING WELL.
Just because someone is their number one priority in their life, doesn't mean they are going spend every waking second obsessing when they hit a rough patch. What kind of stable, trusting and committed relationship is that? People have other stuff to deal with and deep down they know their partner isn't going anywhere so why should that affect other important aspects in their lives?
Work is different. Work is not so permanent and a few rough patches could mean the end of your career. So yeah, duh, it sucks when work isn't going well.

Men often see themselves as the breadwinners of the family. They feel as if they need to support themselves and the ones they love. They want to see food on the table, a stress free household and a vacation at the end of the year where they can live it up stress and work free with those they care about.

Can David honestly say that men prefer to be at work then anywhere else?

I think he is right that work has a very significant impact on a man. Of course. It's the same for women as well but at the end of a hard and rough day at work, my boyfriend makes me feel better and I know that whatever happens, whether I leave or get told to go, I know it will be okay because I have him and he will help me in whatever way.

So maybe its the whole ideas of masculinity that contribute to this mindset by men. They want to be and feel independent. It's great to have a lending hand from their partner and they're grateful but they don't want to have to be in that situation where they need to accept help.

Speak up if you disagree with me and lean towards the ideas depicted by David, please. I'm open and interested to ideas.

But at the same while, although I know David is helping men find their purpose and happiness in life, I think he has the conclusion of it all wrong. Maybe he needed to dig deeper as opposed to just finding the patterns.

P.S I apologize for the awful quality screenshot